Timothy Lea (Christopher Wood) book cover Confessions from a Nudist Colony

First published by Futura Publications Limited, 1976.

Most cultures have a tradition of bawdy humour, but the extent to which it is kept underground varies with time, place and class. Some of it can be very amusing, providing you aren't offended by references to sex and other bodily functions, or by political incorrectness. In the twentieth century England, popular examples included stand-up comedian Max Miller, Donald McGill's naughty postcards, the Carry On films and Benny Hill's TV shows. In the 1970s, there was some very sexually-explicit English smut, of which the most successful was the "Confessions" series of paperback books. Supposedly representing the autobiographical bed-hopping life of one Timothy Lea (usually accompanied by his brother-in-law Sidney Noggett), the stories tell of numerous pneumatic young women who are invariably wild with lust for Timmy and/or Sid. Some of the books were made into mainstream feature films starring Robin Askwith and Anthony Booth, but in a typically English compromise these were emphatically soft-core offerings. There were boobs, bums and female pubes a-plenty, but only glimpses of flaccid penes.

As well as churning out the Confessions books, Christopher Wood wrote stories about nymphomaniacs, this time with the pen-names "Rosie Dixon" and "Penny Sutton". He also produced screenplays - and not just for the films of his books, he gets full credit for The Spy Who Loved Me and Moonraker. I have no idea whether Wood can write well, but I found Confessions from a Nudist Colony to be the worst bit of penmanship reviewed on this site. You can get an idea of the style from the extract. Double-entendres (and simpler in-your-face crudity) are the norm, as is the high-pressure attempt to be continually funny, which I find relentlessly unfunny.

Despite a couple of accurate minor details, such as the chap running the naturist site being described as "a great nudist but a poor administrator. The two often go hand in hand.", the naturism and naturists in the book are about as realistic as those caricatured by Donald McGill - but nowhere near as amusing. Indeed, Wood's dialogue and situations are so ludicrously unconvincing that I hardly smiled throughout the book's 159 pages. At least the language is simple, if you can manage the laboured rhyming slang, and it doesn't take long to read. But I suggest you don't bother!

Ratings:

NudityNaturist nudityA good read?
barebum graphic naturism graphic book graphic

Last updated 2004 February 28.
 
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