Yarns Without Threads 

'Where are all those people going?' Maggie wanted to know.

'To the Naked Beach,' Piplovic replied. 'Naked Beach?'

'Is an island half hour from here. Where everybody swims naked. Men and women together. How you say it? Mixed nudist. Those little boats take the people there each morning. Bring them back in afternoon, late. The boats without awnings is charge ten dinars. With awnings, eleven dinars. One extra dinar for the shade, you understand.'

'What does the FKK mean?' asked Mike.

'Oh. Is abbreviation for German: Frei, Korper, Kultur. Means in English freedom of body culture. Something like that.'

'You mean, this is a German Club? A private club?'

'No. It is German, yes. Mostly Germans go there. But it is not private. Public. Anyone can go.'

'Well!' exclaimed Maggie, smiling. 'What do you know? Naked Beach, anybody?'

'Why not?' grinned Mike. 'We can go tomorrow.'

They both looked at Sam. He hesitated, shot a sidelong glance at Lila. 'I'm game. Why not, indeed?'

'Lila?'

'Not me.'

'Oh come on,' urged Maggie.

'Absolutely not,' said Lila.

'But why not?'

'I think it's silly. Childish.' They were all watching her, and she reddened. 'I see no point whatever in taking off my clothes before God and everybody.'

Lila lay in bed, wide awake. She was alone in the room. ….

She knew what was keeping her awake.

Maggie was right, of course. She, Lila Wheeler, had always had a hang-up about exposing her naked body.

She looked upon it as something personal, very private. Perhaps it was her mother who was responsible. Weren't all mothers responsible for many of the hang-ups their daughters suffered with in later life? She, Lila, had come from middle-class parents in Dayton, Ohio. The Powells were serious, hardworking churchgoing people. Episcopalian. Her mother had this thing about not showing her body. In Lila's recollection, she had never seen her mother naked, even as a young girl. She had never even seen her mother half dressed. When Lila's mother went into her bedroom to get dressed, she always shut the door in a delicate kind of way. Softly, but with a certain emphasis. And Lila would hear the key turn in the lock. This, her mother seemed to say, is my private affair. For my eyes only.

To this day, at the Tennis Club or the Beverly Hills Health Club, of which both she and Maggie Lawrence were members, she never undressed in the open locker area, in front of the other women. Always in a booth. When she went into the shower stall, she always wound a towel around her middle. Now and then, she signed up for a massage. And when the deft fingers of the masseuse pressed into her flesh, she was always careful to have a towel flung over her private parts.

If she was embarrassed in front of her own sex, the idea of exposing her body before a lot of strange men was, of course, impossible. It is for my own eyes only, she thought.

If it weren't for you, we'd be over there right now.

…

She was utterly miserable. And for the first time, she began to waver.

Maybe I'll get up the nerve to do it. Go to this Naked Beach with them. Just once. Just to keep peace in the family. Just to get them off my back. If everybody took off his clothes, it really couldn't be such a big deal, could it? I mean, I've got a good figure, nothing to be ashamed of. They've all seen a naked woman before, and I've seen a naked man. So why do I have this ridiculous hang-up?

…

Then they fell silent, toying with their glasses. It all sounded very familiar. What'll we do, where shall we go, we'll do what you want to do, no, you name it, we'll go along.

'I know what we can do.'

They all turned and stared at her. And to her horror, she heard her own voice, disembodied, belonging to someone else really, say:

'Let's all go to Naked Beach.'

Some of the FKK boats had ... already disembarked their passengers. Lila stared at the tiny figures in the distance, sunning themselves in groups on the great flat rocks, or sitting in the shade of the trees, or moving about. Their bodies looked bleached white against the stone, and somehow, from this distance, they looked strangely grotesque, like the lost and forgotten inhabitants of some leper colony of long ago, pale, spindly scarecrows, strange carrion birds whose feathers had been plucked and now roosted in this lonely place.

Lila's heart started to pound. They were coming closer now, and already she could distinguish between the men and the women. It seemed incredible to her that in a few minutes she would be taking off her blouse and slacks and underpants and stand there, right there before God and everybody, as naked as a jaybird. Right there, not only in front of Mike and Sam and Maggie and Piplovic but also in full view of all those lustful eyes in the blue caps. ... It seemed incredible that in a few moments they would all be exposed, en masse.

What am I doing here? And how did I get into this?

Now, on the island itself, she could see the men walking about or lying on the rocks, with their long pink penises hanging low and limp from their hairy groins, and the women wearing their sun hats, their breasts bobbing and buttocks jiggling as they walked along the flat areas atop the stones. She could hear the chatter of their voices, the laughter...

...

The Germans quickly and eagerly began to strip off their clothes. In a few moments, they were all naked and were stepping over the side of the boat onto the flat, submerged rock and shouting to their friends already ashore.

The Americans stood there, a little stupidly. Finally, Maggie said, 'Well, what are we waiting for?'

The Lawrences started to undress. Sam and Piplovic followed suit. In a moment or two, they were naked. They stuffed their clothes in their lockers, hung the keys around their necks, and then studied each other with frank interest. For the moment, they had all forgotten Lila.

She was still standing there, fully dressed, watching them all hypnotically. She saw Maggie stare at Sam's groin, then look at him and smile. She was not sure that the smile was complimentary, or simply the satisfaction of some long-felt curiosity. But there was nothing lewd about it. She noted Sam's eyes moving along every detail of Maggie's body, the breasts, the belly, the pubic hair. Maggie had an enormous thatch of it, and it was coal black, and Sam seemed fascinated by it. As though he, too, had wondered for so long, had the same kind of curiosity.

Abruptly, they all turned to her, aware that she had not yet undressed.

'Come on-, Lila,' urged Maggie. 'We're all waiting for you.'

'Take it off, baby,' grinned Mike. 'Let it all hang out.' Strange. Standing there now, with her clothes on, she was the one who felt conspicuous. Embarrassed. In a screwed-up kind of way, she was the naked one, not they.

Covered up at this moment, she actually felt exposed. Yet, even now, she did not move.

...

Mike, Maggie and Sam were a naked audience, witness to her striptease. She took off her blouse. Her fingers were numb, crooked sticks of wood. She fumbled off her brassiere. Her naked breasts broke free; they seemed to stand straight out, the nipples hard and extended, straining. They all watched her silently now, waiting, curious. For this moment, she felt as though she were the star of some stag film. She stood there for a moment, still wearing her underpants.

For some crazy reason, her mind slipped back to the time when she was a young girl. And hearing her mother say to her: 'You must change your underwear every day, dear. Not just because you want to be clean. But you might, God forbid, have an automobile accident. You know, where they had to take you to a hospital and undress you. It wouldn't look nice to be lying there in unclean underwear, would it, dear?' Of course, her mother had never said that some day she might meet a young man and decide to go to bed with him on the spur of the moment, and it was nice, under those circumstances, to have fresh, clean underwear. First impressions, after all, were terribly important. But, naturally, in that time and place, saying such a thing, even thinking it, would be indelicate...

Dear God. If only you could see me now, Mother dear.

She slid off her panties.

It was done.

Now, she stood naked with the rest of them.

And to her astonishment, she felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. Not the least embarrassed. After a moment or two, it seemed perfectly natural. There was nothing sexual about it. They were all standing there, naked as jaybirds, and nobody was leering at anybody else. Nobody was drooling. She smiled shyly at the others, and they laughed in their own delight.

Suddenly, she felt marvellous. Exhilarated. Free. The sun warmed her body, complimenting her. A slight breeze sprang up, caressing her skin, tickling her under her armpits and between her legs with cool fingers. She had a crazy impulse to laugh. To dance. To run along the rocks, breasts bobbing, hair waving, like some naiad, some nymph. To dive into the cool, clear water and then turn and float on her back, smiling up at the sky. She felt years younger. Like some innocent child. That was it. Like some child. Only as a child could you run naked outside the house. Your parents and their friends laughed and told each other how cute you were. Later on, you took off your clothes only behind walls. Concealed. Ashamed. And you forgot it forever.

….

'Well, well, well,' said Mike, addressing them all. 'So this is FKK.'

'It's great.'

'Fantastic,' added Sam.

'I think it's marvellous,' Maggie stated happily. 'I love it here. I mean, this is really something.' She turned to Lila curiously. 'How about you?'

'It's very interesting,' Lila answered carefully.

'Come on, darling. Admit it. It's exciting. You love it.' Maggie smiled at Lila. 'You're not shocked?'

'I find it very - unshocking.'

'Well, that's something. Considering we practically had to drag you here by the heels, screaming.'

…

At five o'clock, the FKK boats came in, and they boarded the Savo.

They put on their clothes and found the sensation strange. Somewhat unnatural. But they all felt exhilarated as the boat started to move away.

'Enjoyed it,' said Sam. 'Really enjoyed it.' 'I'll say this,' Mike replied, 'it was different.' 'Clothes,' said Sam. 'What the hell are they, anyway? Only an invention of man. Sure, you can understand them in cold climates. You needed furs to keep warm. But in warm weather like this, way back in history, people ran around bare-assed and never gave it a second thought. It's the natural state of man, as well as animals. Adam and Eve were perfectly happy without the fig leaves, until somebody got religion and fucked up Paradise with the apple and the serpent.'

…

They all laughed and Sam added, 'You know, it was great back there. I'm serious. A new experience. No inhibitions, relaxed, you know? Everything's so complicated today, so many rules, it's a pleasure to revert back to our ancestors, to primitive simplicity. And it shows you don't have to be horny in mixed company. It means, that out there, in the world in which we live, people are sick. Sick about sex, I mean. Our attitudes towards it. Once everybody took their clothes off, everybody would be liberated.' He grinned widely and bowed towards his wife. 'For example, meet the new, liberated Lila Wheeler.'